‘We Gotta Dump This Loser’ Trump

Stephen Colbert had a plainspoken Election Eve message for America on Monday’s episode of “The Late Show,” and unsurprisingly the overarching point: the country must dump Trump once and for all.

Or as he put it quite simply at the end of the 11-minute, 3-second monologue: “We gotta dump this loser.”

Earlier in the bit, Colbert took a moment to note that regardless of the anxiety that millions of Americans are feeling at this moment, he is actually the calmest he’s been in a long time.

“I’m the most relaxed I’ve been for months because, at 11:38 the night before the election, what ya gonna do?” I think we can officially say we’ve given Donald Trump a chance. Jared, you have 22 minutes to achieve Middle East peace,” Colbert said.

Colbert’s point was that it’s really not an exaggeration to say that democracy as we know it is actually on the line. “This is a test of the strength of American voters — but also the institutions we have built,” Colbert said. “This president has exposed a lot of weaknesses in our government but it just has to hold together for one last run.”

The “Late Show” host struck a more serious tone in parts of his messaging, while still weaving in jokes where appropriate.

Here’s an excerpt of Colbert’s Trump warning:

“You see, I think everyone has made up their mind–back in 2017, in fact. Have you seen Trump’s approval numbers? That’s flatter than the Black Rock Desert. You could set a land-speed record on 44%,” he said. “So, to quote Jim Lovell from Apollo 13, ‘Isaac Newton is in the driver’s seat now.’ We are in the grip of the gravitational forces of democracy, which are pulling us toward the results. It’s like our country is a deep-space object falling toward a black hole–either we’re going to get sucked over the event horizon into a well of corruption that not even moats can escape from, or we’ll use this gravity well to slingshot and pick up speed and go off in an entirely new direction. Maybe that planet where Baby Yoda lives, he’s cute.”

Colbert also went through a laundry list of wild stuff Trump has been saying for months about the validity and integrity of the election, as well as how he’s even alluded to declaring premature victory.

Watch the whole clip at the top of the page.

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